All Downhill From Here--- Overheard in Edinburgh, Part 3

Taking Precautions

Two teenage friends are crossing the pedestrian crosswalk on a red light.

Guy 1: Hey mate, let’s hurry it up…

Guy 2: Relax, don’t worry.

He gestures to the woman in front of them, also crossing the street in a wheelchair.

Guy 2: They won’t run us over if we’re with a chair!

Guy 1: I guess that makes sense.

Woman in Wheelchair: (under her breath) Really? How do you think I got the chair in the first place?

The two guys jog the rest of the way across.



There’s no place like home

Performer male: Three weeks of non-stop mania…I’m so fucking tired.

Performer female: I know what you mean.

Performer male: I just want…well, I want to go home and wank-off in my own bed again.

Performer female: Excuse me?

Performer male: Or your bed. I mean, I don’t care.