Things I should have brought to Scotland

Galoshes:

Have I mentioned already that this is a rainy country? Everyone knows that Scotland was built precisely beneath one of the most active rain clouds in the world. I’m surprised that they don’t call it the “rainforest.”

A Crew:

This might, like a hitchhiker’s towel, be a good rule of thumb to bring everywhere you go, not just Edinburgh. It seems that almost everyone here is in a show, and thus in a cast, and thus in a crew. I'm jealous.

Firstly it shows everyone that you have friends, which in turn makes everyone want to be your friend, since you so obviously have great qualities that others find desirable, then why shouldn’t they?

Incidentally it is this very deduction that makes married men and women more attractive than the single ones. Many studies have shown that the type of individual who actually pursues an Already Coupled Person (ACP), tends to be less confident than their peers and in constant need of having their opinion on everything, including romance, confirmed. These types are also very prone to experience early hair loss, expose themselves to their neighbors (“Does it look alright? Are you sure?”), buy pre-furbished homes and death by nihilism.

Earplugs:

I might be going slowly insane, but I swear I can hear the sweet tones of the bagpipe almost everywhere I go; it is downright haunting. I wouldn’t be so paranoid if it didn’t appear that no one else is bothered by it—in fact, there is no sign that they’ve even heard anything. Perhaps, like a bird’s immunity to Asian Bird Flue, Scottish Bagpipe Demons do not haunt natives.